SYL - Week 20

My favourite thing about the Simplify Your Life challenge is that, almost every week, I start thinking a certain way or about a certain thing and then I read the next challenge and there it is! It's like Deb has a window in to my mind, don't get too close Deb! it's scary in there!, and she just knows exactly what I need and when I need it :)


I have had a busy week and I am struggling. Life is tough at the moment, just internally, and I am fighting my thoughts more than I used to have to. I think that is because I am fighting them, they were always there this bad, I just usually gave up and let them win. Not this time. Time to slow down, take a break, revisit my goals and find the simplest way forward.


 Week 20 and week 21 are exactly what I need

source

Goal 2 - To declutter and organise the house so it can be maintained easily.

This is the goal that I have chosen to focus on for the next 5 or 6 weeks. I want the whole family to get involved. Show a united front. I know, when we do, we will see some fantastic improvement in our relationships and general family happiness.

I can't wait to do the home audit. Hubby is excited about it as well. We will finish next week with a concrete plan and we will both know exactly what needs to be done and how to do it. It's something we can work on together, use to teach the kids how to simplify their own lives and hopefully start some really good habits with them. I honestly don't want them to grow up to be like me. I want them to have tidy, organised, stress free homes. At least during the week!!

I love being able to blog my challenge every week and finish it with a plan for the following week. I've felt a bit lost through the last few weeks but I'm back on track now! The following weeks are things I can get my hands on, literally! I work best that way.

I'll finish off with some tacky catch cries....

I'm back in the game! Bring it on!

SYL - Week 19

Routines

source

Routines are usually something that I think are a good idea, then I get sidetracked and forget all about them. I know that I've not been very good at keeping up with routines in the past but, just tonight, I think I have actually started to believe the lack of routine may be my biggest problem when it come to clutter, in my life and in my house. Even in my head!


I have friends that feed their children at the exact same time every day. Their children go to bed for a nap at exactly the same time every afternoon. The night time has a routine that goes dinner, bath, stories and bed. I am pretty sure I'm the opposite of these people. My day goes like this....


Get up, feed kids, take 1 to school. Feed little kids when they start to ask for food, lunch can be anywhere from 12-2pm. The littlest can go to bed for a nap any time between then as well, or not at all. Night time routine goes like this.... 


Dinner, tv time, bed. We are starting to put some story time in here. Usually it is the big kids reading to the little kids while I make sure everyone is ready and has everything they need for the night (ooh! I think we're starting our own routine!! A break through I didn't even notice until now!). I think I have just found a starting point. Go me!


I've resisted being a 'routine person' for such a long time because I always thought it wouldn't work for me. I just go with the flow. The words of Dr Phil come to mind....

source

Hmmmm, let's just say it's not working so well. Obviously or I wouldn't be here every week trying to simplify my life!! Time for a change of thinking, time to step out of my safe little, out of routine, crazy, mixed up world and see if I can get it under control. Now for a plan, I'm going to stick with my baby steps because I've already proved to myself that they work best for me.


The new plan will include menu planning EVERY week. I will print out a few weeks sheets so I have no excuse to plan again when the week has finished. The kids loved this and I found it much easier at 5pm at night when I didn't even have to think about what to cook (by 5pm my brain has usually just packed up and left me). This will also help bring the grocery shopping in to our routine. I will HAVE to shop on the same day each week or we will not have any food haha. Sometimes forced routine is good!


The other routine that I need to implement involves the rest of the family. So far I've found it difficult to engage them all in my goals because they are all so different. Trav could live in a house of mess and not even notice that it was there! It honestly just doesn't bother him which is fine, except it bothers me and I'm making this all about me! haha.


The kids are 14, 12, 3 and 1. They even go Boy. Girl, Boy, Girl. So each have their own toys, clothes, shoes, books, bikes or scooters. You get the picture. Stuff, EVERYWHERE! They don't seem to mind where they leave it either. My plan is to make Monday housework day for me. Put everything back where it should be after the weekend and give the house a good clean. Then on Friday afternoon, it is housework day for everyone. Then we can get the house ready for a relaxing or fun filled weekend.


The thing I have to do with this (and I must thank Annaleis from http://www.teapotsandtractors.com/ for this tip!) is make this fun or at least not stressful. I need to smile and just make it all normal. When I stopped to think about this, I realised that I get quite grumpy when I try to get everyone to help, it's not a nice experience for anyone. I don't blame them for avoiding housework like the plague! Housework is going to be normal in our house. Just like the school run or the grocery shopping.


I am finally able to feel a little breathing room after another down time. This roller coaster that is depression, is a tiring ride.


Jo xo

SYL - Week 18

Procrastination

I'm pretty sure I'm the Queen of it! I get side tracked, way laid, steered off course. You get the picture. I have grand plans so often and then I spend the day procrastinating and nothing gets done.

source

This week I have learned a lot. I can now see what is wrong with my last statement and find the first reason for the procrastination.

I have grand plans so often and then I spend the day procrastinating and nothing gets done.

Problem number 1, the words grand plans. I get overwhelmed with grand plans. What I need is a basic plan. Need verses want is a thought process that has really helped me over the last week. I have come out of my dark hole again (thanks to the help of the wonderful people I have found here and my friends) and I have started to see that I need to slow down again, to figure out exactly what I need to do to get through the day.

Some days the washing will need to be done. Other days the grocery shopping will need to be done. Some days I will want to go shopping with a friend. Other days I will want to sit on the couch and eat a giant bag of M&Ms (obviously some days need wins but hopefully not too often!!). Hubby has even started a need/want shopping list on the kitchen table where everyone can write down things we run out of or they think we might buy this week. We want to teach the kids that needs and wants are very different things but often you can have both.

Decision making isn't a huge problem for me. I can usually decide what I want to do or what I have to do. I have a problem with the next step, this is where the procrastination begins. The actual doing. The stepping out the door on grocery day, the getting off the computer when it's time to put the washing on the line. This is where I run in to real trouble most days.

To combat this I have sticky notes (computerised ones) on the desktop of my computer. I found I wasn't using paper lists and notes very well but I do use them on my computer. If I do sit and procrastinate for a while, I can then quickly look at the notes and see what the next step is for today or see what day I can sit and rest if it is not today. This is actually working really well. I can break the day and week up in to bite sized pieces and see it clearly any time I need too. It has given me hope again and helped me put one foot in front of the other this week. Everything seems manageable. I will eventually get around to most of my wants if I just get the needs out of the way and stop putting them off. Stop wasting my own time!!!

My goal for the next week is to follow my sticky notes, make sure I keep them updated and show myself that if I don't waste time, I can get plenty of wants done :)

Hang on a minute, isn't that what I'm trying to teach my kids? If you do your chores on Saturday morning, you can go and play afterwards. If you do your homework, you get to go to Youth Group on Friday night. Oh!! Now I see why they don't really get it. Actions speak louder than words. Looks like we've all got some learning to do this week :)

Jo xo

SYL - Week 17

I'm sneaking in at the tail end of this week. I haven't been myself and I wasn't sure I was even going to get this post written in time but tonight (well technically this morning, it's 2am!), I am going to give it a shot. I suspect it will be a rambling mess but I'm sure it will be good for me.




I am really struggling this week. My depression and anxiety are back at near full force. I am almost house bound because of it and I am scared. I know that I am standing on the edge at the moment. I have a decision to make. To step forward, confront my fears, prove to myself that the effort to breathe, eat, sleep, is worth it. Or to step backwards and let the dark embrace me again.


This is a decision that needs to be looked in to deeply. I need to take my time and weigh up the pros and cons. I think. Maybe it's as clear cut as it seems. As if I would step backwards, make the fight harder, let the demon win. As if there is any chance but to pick myself up and continue the fight, for my husband, for my children, for my 2 best friends. But I do have a choice, I do have a decision to make. At the moment I can't make it so I'm just staying here on the edge. Either step seems to be too much effort right now.


Decision making comes easy to me at times. I know that the less impact the result has, the less time I will worry about it. When I do the shopping, I go by price first. The biggest issue is money so the decision is made by that mark. When I dress the kids, the biggest issue is their comfort so I dress them to suit the weather or the activity. Easy done.


The process gets a lot harder when the path I choose will take me towards something that will make me anxious. I hate to leave the house, I avoid it where I can at the moment. My eldest son needs a new pair of school shoes. To get them, I need to take him to the shops. I can't do it, the anxiety is too much. He has a pair of runners so has been wearing them to school even though he isn't supposed to. This has put off the need to make the decision to go to the shops and buy him new shoes. If I had done it a week ago, I wouldn't still be anxious about it. It would be done and I would have moved on but instead, I am sitting here still worrying. Knowing that tomorrow is Sunday and it's the day I am going to have to buy him new shoes. The mole hill has turned in to a mountain. Why? Because I didn't make the quick decision that was called for last week.

Source

I have learned that I need to categorise the decisions to be made. Spend time considering all the information for the important ones and just make the less important ones. I am making life so much harder for myself by hanging on to issues and problems that are not worthy of my time and energy. The school shoes should be bought because they HAVE to be. There done. Tomorrow we are going shoe shopping. There is no danger at the shops, no giant monster waiting to eat me. No one cares that I am there or what I am wearing just like I don't care about them. I can do this. I think.

I wish I didn't have such bad paranoia. It is always my undoing. I over think, over analyse, then just plain make stuff up in my head. It is so tiring and so destructive.  The sign post in the picture above sums up my head perfectly. There is so much in there, so many things pointing in different directions and I get confused. This week I am lost, confused, bewildered and unsure. I need to stop again, rest and recuperate. Start again early next week with a plan, a list and a goal. I already miss the happy, confident me I was starting to see in my posts.

I have just realised something. I knew this post had to be written tonight. It has worked.

My decision is already made. I will take a step forward. If I really wanted to take a step back then I would have already done it. Now to sleep and muster up some energy to fight the demon even harder tomorrow.

Jo xo